Guest Blog on Doubt: Would God die for only me?

Today's guest blog is from Aaron Carmichael who is a gifted writer and who teaches university level English in China. In case you are wondering, Aaron is the man toward the bottom of this picture. If you know him, it makes more sense somehow....

thanks Aaron, for taking time to address this vital issue.

“I doubt that God loves me. I believe his love is huge and he died for everyone, but had I been the only one, would he have died for me?”
The Beatles were right. No matter how much money you have, you can’t buy love. However, we do often think and talk about love in economic terms. Love, like money, is sometimes treated like payment for services rendered, or a commodity that grows and diminishes according to fluctuating circumstances.

A happily married couple might claim that their love has multiplied over the years, but an unhappy couple might feel as though love has faded. Love is viewed as the effect of some external cause. I love you (the effect) because you please me, make me feel good about myself, or because you are fun to be around (the cause). Of course, when the cause wanes, so does the effect, and that’s usually when couples “fall out of love”, or when friendships end.

While this economic approach towards love seems to prevail when it comes to both romantic and platonic relationships (especially in the early stages), cultures around the world and throughout history have highly regarded displays of what might be called “selfless love”, or what, in his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis refers to as “Charity”. In Lewis’ opinion, Charity (based on his understanding of the Greek word Agape) is the highest form of love; more admirable than affection, friendship, or the erotic love shared in marriage. Charitable love rises above the others because it is love without a cause; it is a love that exists independently of external factors. Selfless love is not economic in nature; it seeks no trade off or benefit from the beloved.

It is this kind of love that makes heroes out of common men and women. We have great admiration for firefighters, police officers and soldiers who risk death attempting to save the lives of people they have never previously met. Our greatest role models are those who choose to sacrifice their own health or comfort for the sake of others, with no promise of reward. While we may often practice economic love, we recognize selfless love when we see it, and our highest ideals are shaped by it.
The greatest demonstration of selfless love humanity has ever witnessed was Christ’s death on the Cross. In that act, charity was displayed to its fullest extent. In Romans 5:8, Paul writes that Jesus died for us while we were “still sinners”; meaning, not only had humanity done nothing to deserve His love, but even worse, by our sin, we had become enemies of God.

If we approach love from an economic standpoint, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask “Why does God love His enemies?” It doesn’t make much sense to love someone who won’t love you in return (or even intends you harm). But if you read the Bible and believe what it tells us about God’s personality, His love for His enemies (in this case, us) begins to make more sense. The New Testament writer, John, tells us that our understanding of love cannot be separated from our understanding of God, because “God is love” (1 John 4).

What this means is that God’s nature - His very essence - is love. Paul creates a beautiful description of love in 1 Corinthians 13, and in this description reveals the personality of a God who is patient and kind and delights in the truth. He is a God that forgives; He never fails, and neither does His love.

Because many Christians are so accustomed to thinking of love in economic terms, it’s hard for us to believe that God loves us regardless of our behavior. The sin in our lives makes us feel unworthy of His love. This feeling of unworthiness is actually an accurate sentiment, because we don’t deserve it. But the question “Does God love me?” is a self-centered one. Not selfish, but self-centered. The question’s focal point is on the magnitude of our failings rather than on the magnitude of God’s love.
It is understandable that in our lowest moments, we face doubts about God’s love. But asking, “Does God love me?” brings into question His very nature. God loves you because He is God. His love isn’t acquired through obedience or special prayers or church attendance. He loves you because He created you to be the recipient of His love. Your existence and status as one of His “offspring” (as Paul says in Acts 17) assures that you are loved. You did not earn His love, and neither can you escape it.
Asking “If I was the only one, would Christ still have died for me?” again confuses God’s charitable love with the economic love we are accustomed to in our human relationships. When we ask this question we are basically wondering whether we, individually, are worth the sacrifice Jesus made on the Cross. From an economic standpoint, we have an easier time understanding why Jesus would make such a large sacrifice if He was certain it would pay off with big returns. His death might be worth the salvation of all humanity, but what about just one human? Would it still be worth it?

Though the Bible uses terms such as “ransom” and “purchase” to describe Christ’s death, these are given to help us understand what was accomplished, not to define the motives behind the sacrifice. When God submitted to death, it was an outpouring of His loving nature, not a calculated maneuver that seemed economically beneficial. The truth is, because we are all sinners, not even the whole lot of us combined is worth the sacrifice He made. John 3:16 tells us very clearly that Christ died because He loves us. He’s incapable of anything different, regardless of the numbers.
If you fear that your sin hinders God from loving you, the solution is not to work harder at not sinning. Instead, you should work harder at seeking God, because when you do, He has promised that you will find Him. Once you find Him, you will know His love, and you will learn that it is a force that cannot be hindered.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39


Further Reading Suggestions:
What’s So Amazing About Grace? By Philip Yancey
The Ragamuffin Gospel and The Signature of Jesus By Brennan Manning
The Four Loves and Till We Have Faces and The Great Divorce By C. S. Lewis
The Writings of Paul and John in the New Testament